What is The Oklahomos?
I’ve spent a lot of my life ashamed of being gay. Now that I’m not, I’d like to help anyone that I can avoid the mistakes and ideas that led me to spend a majority of my life in that way.
I built this place as if preparing a gift for my younger self. If I had access to a resource like this—even heard a story that sounded similar to mine—I know I would have found comfort in the fact that I wasn’t alone and there was light at the end of the tunnel.
So I present The Oklahomos as a gift to anyone seeking answers about their sexuality or the sublime realization of: “Oh, I’m not the only one.” I hope you find something here—an available resource, an artist that inspires, or a story that resonates—that will help you on your journey.
The Oklahomos originally started as a group chat between me and two of my closest friends. One of these friends I became infinitely closer with when we came out to each other after about three years of knowing each other. The other I met by chance on a gay Christian forum weeks before he moved out of the state.
These two friends made navigating life as a gay man in Oklahoma bearable. These are the people who I felt finally got me. And being known is a very powerful thing.
Many of the discussions on this blog were born out of late-night, often tearful conversations. Others come from the experience of trying to piece my life back together after leaving behind many of the beliefs, dreams, and expectations I grew up with. Whether you’re certain of your sexuality or questioning where exactly you fit in, there is something here for you.
To all the Oklahomos out there, I love you. I see you. And you have just as much of a right to a happy, healthy life as anyone else.
B.B.
Choose Your Starter Pack.
This website can be explored in any number of ways, but I’ve curated three starter packs to explore blog posts, recommendations, and resources that I think best fit your situation.
Which best fits you?
Questioning
You’ve got questions: Am I gay? How do I deal with shame? Should I come out?
Let’s talk exploration, shame, and coming out.
Christian
Holding seemingly diametrically-opposed identities isn’t an easy path.
Let’s talk theology, mental health, and family.
Gay
Navigating life as a gay man is difficult, especially
in Oklahoma.
Let’s talk representation, healing, and home.
Hi, my name is Blake Barrett.
I’m a 28-year-old gay man living in Oklahoma.
Storytelling is one of my life’s passions. It includes some of my favorite things: reading, writing, and connecting to other people and the human experience.
I graduated from The University of Oklahoma in 2016 with a degree in Journalism. Since then, I have been an (assistant) librarian, an English teacher in Israel, and most recently I am the Communications Director for a PC(USA) church in Oklahoma City.
In my free time I like to spend time with my family in Oologah, Oklahoma, read copious amounts of gay fiction, and fantasize about the idea of camping.
-
I welcome anyone to The Oklahomos—gay, questioning, or otherwise—but this is not the site if you’re looking for some kind of balanced, gay-neutral material. There are enough places like that made by gay Christians and a slew of ex-gay spokespeople.
This blog only offers the limited experience of a white, cis, gay man in Oklahoma. As difficult as my situation was, I did not have the burden of also dealing with racism, sexism, or transphobia. I recognize that not every gay person in Oklahoma will be able to see their experience reflected here, but I hope that whatever your identity or background that this place serves as an expansion to a world that leads with love, acceptance, and the recognition of the “others’” experience.
Also, all of this public writing is very against my typical tendency. I usually like to hold my cards close to my chest. I approach this project with the humility to know that there’s much I don’t know and I am bound to make mistakes, so please be kind. :)
